Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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