Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize