He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
