I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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