It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize