I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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