sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
