I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
