I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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