Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
