the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
this hospital has no fireball
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
