its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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