Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
