My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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