Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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