don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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