I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize