Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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