She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
