I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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