Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
