I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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