can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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