Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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