he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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