Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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