i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
