yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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