You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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