She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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