i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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