Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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