i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
