Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
