And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
