Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there was a trapeze. enough said
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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