Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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