Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize