New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
