TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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