there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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