you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
