shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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