she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
