She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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