The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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