found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
NoShamevember. You game?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
