I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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