I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
