i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
