my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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