i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
