that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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