Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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