I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
