where am i from again
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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